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Angry at my therapist for bailing our session at the last minute.

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2021.11.30 00:02 AdBig9358 Angry at my therapist for bailing our session at the last minute.

I had a session today at 3. He called at our time and told me that he was going to have to cancel the session at the last minute and move it to in person on Wednesday because it would be better for us to be able to see each other and be in the same room for it. He said it's hard to know what's going on or if I'm starting to disassociate. I get that. It makes sense...but I have agoraphobia and severe social anxiety and leaving my house is a nightmare. I have no one to go with me, and I have constant nightmares of getting lost on the bus. It's my worst fear. I also have no one who can take me at the last minute, no money for an Uber and 2 bus tickets left, so I'm done if I mess up and get lost. I'm also LD and get lost just going from the kitchen to the bedroom. This is a very real fear and he knows that.
I just wish he had brought it up last session 2 weeks ago instead of at the last minute like he did. I'm angry. I've been waiting for this session for 2 weeks to see him. Its not even the extra 2 days that bothers me; its the lack of communication and bailing on me that I'm really angry about. There was a short explanation and then I felt like I had to agree to Wednesday because he couldn't see me- there was really not a choice for me. And I couldn't talk to him about it because he had to go.
He's retiring in March and I've only got 8 more sessions with him before I'm starting with a new therapist because I only see him almost every 2 weeks.
I was going to talk to him about going to once a week but couldn't because he canceled. Its hard enough that I'm moving to a new therapist because of his retirement and then in 6 months I'm moving and having to start again with another one. I will have had 4 therapists in 2 years because 2 retired and the other one just turned out to not be a good match. I'm hoping this new one will be a good match.
He's one of the 2 or 3 people I feel like I can trust and he does this?! Nahhhh no thanks. I wish I could just quit until I see my new therapist because I'm terrified of going out alone, but I know I need to be seeing someone.
I was also going to talk to him about me recently realizing that I have an addiction problem, but that's probably not going to happen because there's so many other things I need to talk about. So much has happened in the last 2 weeks and I only get 30-50 minutes with him every week and a half to 2 weeks.
I just want to lose myself in sleep for a long, long time. That's all I want.
If you've read this, thank you. I'm sorry if it is all jumbled, I just wanted to get it all out in writing.
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2021.11.30 00:02 Rare-Zombie8885 Math questions

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  1. Suppose a differentiable function f(x) has 100 distinct points where f(x) = 0. Show that f′(x) has at least 99 points where f′(x) = 0.
  2. Find nth Taylor polynomial for the exponential function f(x) = ex at x= 0, and the corresponding remainder term.
  3. Let f(x,y) = 2x2 +2a·xy+3y2 −2x+12y, where a is some constant. Find Hessian of f. (a) Find Hessian of f(x,y). (b) Find for what values of athe function fis guaranteed to be convex (=concave up). (c) Suppose x0,y0 is a critical point (i.e., both partial derivatives are 0) of f(x,y), with f(x0,y0) = f0. Find second-order approximation P2(x,y) of fat that point. (You are not asked to actually find x0,y0, even though it’s possible in this case.)
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2021.11.30 00:02 AntiqueEconomist2018 Just found out that my [25M] Mom [62F] had an extremely traumatic miscarriage before adopting me and my brother [24M]. It explains a lot about how she raised us but she never told us, she confided this to my GF [27F] in private. Should I talk to her about it?

I guess I should start by contextualizing our relationships/history. Growing up my Mom was a stereotypical helicopter mom, overprotective and always paranoid something would happen to us etc. As we grew up and became adults it got worse if anything, she would constantly ask if we thought she was a good mother, if she made a mistake by making us do X Y or Z as kids, if she was too intense or overbearing etc. For the most part I was patient with her after I grew out of my angsty teenage phase as I knew she had a rough life. My Dad's family HATED her (she was from a poor farming family while my Dad was from the "rich" family in a town of 1000 people and they disowned him completely after he married her, I've never met anyone from his side of the family for this reason), she was bullied constantly at school for being poor, my aunts always exclude her from family events and news, and now her dad is dead and her mom has severe dementia and doesn't recognize anyone, but my mom is stuck with taking care of her and none of the rest of the family helps out.
In addition to this my parent's marriage was very rocky. My mom was prone to outbursts of anger and crying and they would fight constantly. I remember one time when I was around 10 my parents got in a fight around Christmas time and my mom said "all I want for Christmas is a divorce". After me and my brother moved out she has noticeably improved and I have been able to reflect back on my childhood and recognize that she clearly loved me and wanted the best but was obviously going through some hard times. I think she needed to see a therapist during these times and I somewhat resented her for not seeking help but I understand it's a different generation and she sees therapy very differently. I had reconciled myself to these explanations for her behaviour especially as things have drastically improved recently so I have no resentment towards her even though she could have been a better mother. As a result of all of this, however, I've never really been close with her. I've never gone to her for advice or help as long as I can remember. I've never discussed my feelings with her. We never talk about more than surface level topics. My brother and I were also adopted but that has never affected me at all. I never think about my biological parents and have never had any desire to meet them, my adopted parents are my parents. When our parents told us we were adopted (around 8 years old) all they said was "some things couldn't happen" so they weren't able to have kids. I thought my mom or dad was infertile (I remember my Mom had to have a cyst removed from her ovaries when I was quite young so I assumed she had some medical issues there) and never questioned it further.
Last weekend my GF and I were visiting my parents. We've been dating for 5 years and are going to be married once I finish grad school and we can afford a ring/wedding so she is very close with them. I went with my dad to take my dog for a walk and while I was gone apparently my mom confided something to my GF she has never told me or my brother. She was 4 months pregnant with twins after struggling for years to conceive and had names picked out when one of them died in the womb. She had to carry one of the dead twins inside of her for a month until the other child also died and she lost both of them. They were looking into IVF to try again when they got approved to adopt me (and my brother a year later). When my GF told me this it explained so much. No wonder she was so overbearing. No wonder she had such severe emotional problems. No wonder my parents marriage was rough. As far as I know she has never been to therapy or counselling to deal with this. I think she and my dad dealt with it mostly alone for all of these years. I feel guilty for being so resentful towards her as a teenager. My question is...where do I go from here? She's never told me this before but she MUST have known my GF would tell me right? She didn't ask her to keep it to herself. We don't really talk about stuff this deep which is why I imagine she went to my GF instead of me. Do I just pretend nothing was said? Do I bring it up and ask her about it?
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